Work Mañana

Ok, I have my head finally wrapped around the concept of going to work again. I'm ready. I'm looking forward to it.... This first week back I know will be kinda rough; all because of the stupid ID CARDS.... At least I will have my student staff back to work on it.

Goals starting this week:
1. Not fall behind in grading again.
2. Keep my stress level down as low as possible.
3. Have fun.

I'm also looking forward to the Science Camp trip at Catalina Island. It's coming up on the holiday weekend. It was a ton of fun last year. The kids are always a blast, all the outdoor activities are a ton of fun, and it's a small way to get away. In a way it's a vacation but with students.

Thom came by tonight and we went to the University Village. I had a sandwich and we ran into Paul and Liz. They were going to see Saw II. It's cool seeing how they look at each other. You can tell that the way they feel is mutual, and to top it off Liz is a cool chick.

I need to remember to call my friend Liz (not Paul's woman) because she needs to do some classroom observations. Since she's working on her art credential she wants to come by. I know how boring that can be so I will also help her come up with a lesson that ties into what the kids are working on and let her teach a class period.

Spring Ahead....

Fall back. That's the whole agenda for tonight with the clocks. I went to Steve's apartment, played with Austin, and went to dinner with Steve & Kumi. They convinced me to go to a Halloween party with them at Crudder & Bobby's. I did; dressed as a Catholic Bishop. The party was cool for about the first hour. Things started getting more and more out of control as the night went on so we all agreed it was time for us to leave. I have a feeling the police will be stopping by there at some point tonight & that kind of madness is not what I'm up for. Actually, while I was there I just couldn't get into a "party mode". It was good to see some friends that I haven't seen in a while and that was what made the effort worth while.

Comic Book

Comic Book
Originally uploaded by GildeMontes.

My new headshot for stuff. I think it sums up me getting the new computer up and running @ 2AM.

Up and Running

It has taken the majority of the day, but now everything is up and running on this new iMac G5. Talk about stress. I'm just glad that the majority of my data I was able to recover..... When I say most, there were a few things I couldn't salvage... Oh well.

SOX WIN!

YES! The White Sox have one more game to win the World Series! While that is exciting, I heard from my uncle who is doing well. Work stuff will be catching up with me soon and I don't want it to. It's weird to think that I've been off for a month because it doesn't seem like it.

Last October I drove out to Chicago and had a wonderful time, but I've been here for the majority of this break.

Kym and I are supposed to go to Knott's thursday. I wasn't feeling so hot on Sunday. Damn jet lag caught up with me.

I bought "LOST" the other day on DVD... Dave has now become hooked. Mish is going to borrow each disc after Dave gets caught up. Dave finished disc 1 so that is on it's way out to Ontario in the morning.

Well, I'm waiting on a return call from the dealership in regards to the GAP insurance on the Stratus. The GAP insurance company doesn't have record of it but I have the damn pink slip carbon copy of filling the shit out. That's a little stressful; especially when 8 grand is at stake that I don't have.

Got to love money. You make more, as a single guy the government takes more. Work my ass off to realize there is no point. At least there is solice in what I do. I really do love my job. I love the kids; I love my coworkers; I love doing what I do because it is both an outlet and a way to connect with people.

The older I get the more I realize that I don't fit in with people my age..... It's something that I have learned has been the case since I was a kid.

Sometimes I wish that I could be completely "normal" and fit in with 20 somethings and not overanalyze, but then again I wouldn't be me anymore.

RBC

Went to RBC for dinner..... Yes, the beer still sucks. I haven't been there in quite some time because of this fact but I can still say without question that the Pale Ale still sucks big balls. Shelley, you know my taste in beer..... You know what I mean when I say it's a "thin" tasting pale..... Seriously, I need to start brewing. Just got to get the rest of the equipment *AHEM* *cough*...... As sad as it may sound, I'm missing work. Besides that, I'm getting a little tired of the kids e-mailing me telling me how much they were back in my class instead of at home. I'm looking forward to seeing the munchkins. At least with them I know what I'm doing as opposed to the rest of my life.

Home

Well, I'm home and my mind is at ease. My uncle is doing well. I'm just looking forward to sleeping in my own bed. Sox won tonight! Go Chicago! Lots of laundry to do tomorrow and I need to pick up the 1st season of LOST at Best Buy. Kym & I are going to Knott's tomorrow and it should be a good time. A few beers and exhaustion are going to put me into bed early I think.

Heading Home

I'm heading home in the morning. Everything here went really well. I had a good time with the family. Today, I picked up an Urlacher jersey.

I'm looking forward to getting back to the hustle and bustle of California. Before I get there, I have a two hour layover in Vegas! Maybe I'll come home with some money from playing the slots in the airport.... With a 2 hour layover, it'd be just as fast to drive back from Vegas... Too bad I don't have a spare car stashed there somewhere.

Tracy is going to take my mom & I to the airport in the morning. It will be good to see my sister one last time before heading home.

4-8-15-16-23-42

This morning I finished watching all of the episodes of LOST. I'm now totally caught up and I have something to buy on DVD when I get home (Season 1). The way some things are right there in front of you but you don't always catch them, clues as to interactions between characters, the numbers that I listed above, etc... It's really cool and I want to catch things that I missed the first time around.

I posted a bulletin on myspace to see what everyone thought about my current situation and job options.... My students were the first ones to respond. One of my kids, Maddy was the first to reply back with:

HELLO???????? r u out of ur freakin mind? who would be in charge of newspaper/yearbook. EARTH 2 RYAN GIL DE MONTES. u r the one good teacher at the stupid school. geez.

While it makes me feel good to hear something like that from one of the kids I know it's not true. I'm getting better at teaching but I'm not to THAT point yet. My friend Pete also brought up some interesting points about me even teaching at Ivy Tech if I make that option and decide to jump ship from CA back to IN.

Goals of the day:
1. Finally get my new damn Bears jersey & Cubs jersey.
2. Go bowling with Syd and the rest of her friends that still live in the area.
3. Spend time with the family.

Needless to say things have been going pretty well here. I just wish that I had the opportunity to stay longer so that I could see everyone. Oh well, I can always make plans for June... No way in hell am I coming at the coldest part of winter (Feb). I think that will be a time for me to do something a little different. Maybe go on a trip up the coast of California stopping in every city I've wanted to see and never taken the time to go to.

Something I Can Never Have

Serenity, peace, Nirvana; whatever you call it
Shall never be mine. Traveling backwards in my thoughts and time
I see what there is left of me, what is gone
It is hard to know what pieces were important that I let go.

What will make me happy? What will finally give me peace?
What is my future? What is my release?

I find myself wanting, empty an insecure
The thoughts and ambitions that I carry in my mind are pure.
Lifting myself out of the fog; everything is still blurred.
Why can such difficult decisions be so obscure?

Serenity is something I cannot grasp. The harder I try to hold on
The more it slips through my fingers like sand.

A duality; two lives for one person cannot be.
The only way to know is to find a decision that will bring me to understand...
Understand all that I cannot see...
And finally bring me to a place where I can find true divinity.

NIN - All That Could Have Been

Breeze still carries the sound
Maybe I'll disappear
Tracks will fade in the snow
You won't find me here

Ice is starting to form
Ending what had begun
I am locked in my head
With what I've done
I know you tried to rescue me
Didn't let anyone get in
Left with a trace of all that was
And all that could have been

Please
Take this
And run far away
Far away from me
I am
Tainted
The two of us
Were never meant to be
All these
Pieces
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
Nothing
You meant everything
Everything to me
Gone fading everything
And all that could have been

Please
Take this
And run far away
Far as you can see
I am
Tainted
And happiness and peace of mind
Were never meant for me
All these
Pieces
And promises and left behinds
If only I could see
In my
Nothing
You meant everything
Everything to me
__________________________________________

Side note - I had dinner with Syd. She's doing well. As always she is still having a hard time dealing with her sister's death but as each year goes by it seems to be easier for her to deal with. I told her about my options and she agrees; it is a lot to think about. The staleness of being idle is driving me nuts.

Lots of Decisions to Make...

Well, I went to lunch with Doug Kocher; the head of the Communications Department at Valparaiso University. He was a former professor of mine and a good friend. Our lunch turned out to be a job offer. He wants me to come back and teach Desktop Publishing, maybe return to teaching non-linear video editing, and possibly down the road pick up Introduction to Internet Communications. If I was to do that, I would have to obviously move back here to the Chicagoland area. In addition, I would need to keep a standard middle or high school art position.

What does this mean? Well, now I have something else to seriously think about. One of my options for next year is to teach at Canyon Springs High School (where I was a student). My former art teacher is retiring and the rest of the department would love for me to take that step. Now with the offer from Doug, I have something totally different to think about.

I went to dinner with my sister and family. It was good to see them. I told her about this whole possibility. I really now have a lot of thinking to do. While I love all of my friends in California, I look at the reality of the situation. I have friends and family here as well. Housing here is MUCH more affordable.

I also spent time with they guys at the Sigma Pi fraternity house. All of the guys I know have been talking about my last visit to the new actives. They all were happy to meet me finally.

One other major thing has happened to me. My uncle has all of LOST Season 1 on DVD. I'm almost done with it now. It is an addictive show and the character development is done really well.

My uncle is at his doctor's appointment right now with my mom and his wife. He is getting around very well, eating much more than he was before, and he is awake, conversing, and joking like he normally would. He is also sleeping through the majority of the night. Everything seems on the road to a full recovery. This makes me VERY happy.

In Hobart!
Well, mom & I finally got to the hospital after 5PM yesterday. We couldn't hail a cab because they were all full after the Bears blew out Minnesota! While I'm happy about that, it was irritating not being able to get a damn cab. So, we took public transportation as far as we could. When we were at the last bus stop, after waiting for a while, I saw a cab. I guessed the right area code, dialed the number on the side of that cab and we took one for the rest of the way.

Last night we stayed at the hospital. Thankfully, I forced myself not to sleep but 3 hours before our flight out so I was able to fall asleep curled up on the small couch in the waiting room. Uncle Steve seemed to be doing ok.... He was just very weak and has a hard time eating due to the lack of eating for the last week and a half. He is now home, he is getting his energy back, and most important of all, he's using his sense of humor. He has stitches inside of his forehead that are being held in place by surgical staples. He is walking around better, he jokes about not needing a mask for Halloween. His surgical staples in his abdomen should also be coming out in a week or so.

Later this week I'll be spending some time with Syd in Valpo, the Chicago guys, and maybe a day with Josh & Carrie. It's weird but good to be back & I'm glad that my uncle is healing up well.

T-Minus 11H 30M

In less than 12 hours I'll be in route to Chicago. I let everyone know in Valparaiso, Chicago, and Indy that I'm going to be there & I'm ready to get going. As usual before a flight I'm a bit anxious, but not in a bad way. I really want to see my uncle, my family, & friends.

We watched Underworld on HBO. I remember now why I always found Kate Beckensale to be so hot.

Wild Weird Day

Today a whole bunch of stuff happened. My mom's iPod died so we took it back to Best Buy (under warranty) so that they can verify the drive is dead and replace it with a new one. We went to lunch at Quiznos and ran into Mr. Leverton; an elementary school teacher that still works at the elementary school I went to as a kid/taught at for a year.

My uncle was moved to Loyola University last night and they did surgery on him today. Things look like they are doing well thank God. My mom & I are flying out on Sunday morning which means that posting may become less frequent or stop altogether until I return.

My friend Shelley insisted that I come out for the TGIF for work at PH Woods... So, I went. I had a couple beers, mingled with coworkers and was given a very nice compliment by the head of the Art Department at Vista Del Lago (our newest high school in town). She asked me why I'm not at her school and insists that I come see her animation program over there. I will schedule that after I return from Chicago. I'm looking forward to it.

After the TGIF stuff, I went to Steve's apartment, played with Austin and I don't know how that kid does it but he always wears me out. I had a great time catching up with Steve & Kumi. When I was leaving Steve & Kumi's I thought I'd call Dave & see what he was up to. It turns out he was at Shaunee's house which wasn't far away. I hung out over there with them for the remainder of the night. Kenny even drove in from Phoenix to hang out for a few hours. It was good to see everyone. The only slightly weird thing was everyone was smoking out except for 3 of us. I'm used to it but it's still always a strange situation. Mal passed out on the floor in the bathroom and I accidentally hit him in the head with the door. If he didn't move I was going to take some masking tape and mark off where he laid because he was laying there in an ackward position.

By about 4AM I was tired of playing ping pong and it was time to come home. Oh, a side note. It's always funny when I'm off track and run into students & their families.... Especially when wearing my green "Drunkagen" t-shirt. Thankfully I remembered I had it on and smiled, waved, and kept walking on my hunt to find a new pair of shoes.

Yes, Etnies do apparently come in a size 14 (sasquach).

Lyrics

I just listened to Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. It's funny how words to a song can subtly change what they mean to you over years.

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
This used to speak to me about how lost and wayward my life had become at one time. Now it has different meaning...

Walking Home

Well, I just got home from another Thursday night adventure at BB's. It was good to see everyone. My old buddy Graham Willis dropped by. When I say OLD BUDDY, I really mean it. I've known him since he was 3 or so. It was a real trip. He's down for the field trip next friday to Stone Brewery; that trip is still up in the air due to my unexpected plane plans.

At this point my uncle had spinal fluid running through his nose (which is obviously not good). Last I heard he was being transferred to Loyola in Chicago. I just pray that things go well. I truly love my uncle to death. At the same time if things are going bad, I know that he's one of the most stubborn people I know and will fight to the very end.

Leslie (his wife) called and filled mom in on the info when we were getting dinner. She is supposed to let us know what the rules are going to be for visitation. If for no other reason, I will go to support Leslie and my mom with my uncle's condition. I just hope that the condition I see him in isn't how I last see him. He is both family and friend. He took me to "New Comiskey Park" when it opened (back during a short time when I liked the Sox more than the Cubs). We play Risk games until the wee hours of the morning. He also has an impecable taste in music.

I thought I found my center; the truth is I'm still looking for it. The only plus is at this point I know what I'm going to paint. Kevin met a nice woman today and I'm happy for him. If anyone deserves to have that kind of a grounding in his life, it's him.

I picked up my plates for the Civic today.... The liscense plates have my initials monogramed on them; you know, the way rich people do it (last initial in the middle). I found that partly amusing.

I also talked to my friend Sydney today. She is doing well and while she hopes to see me soon, she doesn't want to see me due to the reason I'll be heading out there. It'll be an interesting trip; the first time I get to meet her man. She seems to be doing well.

One last random thought: I can't be someone's knight in shining armor if they already have other people that think they are.

It's past two, walked home from the bar, played poker, had a nice quiet uneventful night and it's time to rest.

Head is Clear

My head is clear; at least as clear as it can get. Mom still hasn't let me know on the flight details to fly back and see my uncle. I just hope everything continues to improve for him. If I go to see him it will be my first trip back in a year. This time last year I was in the Chicagoland area. It was a wonderful trip and it was great to see everyone. This trip is a little more somber with my heart and prayers with my uncle.

On a more positive note, the Iowa bridge is back up which means a short walk instead of driving to get to the University Village. The bridge has been down for over a year and a half. One of the greatest conveniences of living here has come back.

Today is my day to return to the gym.
I have found my center.

15 mins a NEW RECORD!!!

PARDON ME BUT I'M DRUNK! I'VE DONE SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT I'D DO. I WOKE UP IN KYM'S ROOM, WALKED DOWNSTAIRS TO SEE HER SLEEPING WITH JOHN!. WELL, IF WHAT SHE WANTED WAS THE SPECTACULAR EXPLOSION THAT IS ME, SHE GOT IT WHETHER SHE REMEMBERS OR NOT! WAKING UP IN HER ROOM, FINDING HER SLEEPING DOWNSTAIRS WITH SOME GUY SHE USED TO SEE.... I GUESS IT'S EASY TO SAY THAT IT'S ENOUGH FOR ME. I'M DONE. PUT A FUCKING FORK IN ME. MY UNCLE IS BACK IN THE HOSPITAL AND IT LOOKS LIKE I'LL BE FLYING OUT TO SEE HIM WITH HIS CONDITION WHERE IT IS. LORD ONLY KNOWS THAT THE ONLY TWO NON DIRECT RELATIVES THAT I HAVE SUCH STRONG FEELINGS FOR IS MY UNCLE STEVE AND MY AUND ALEXIS. WELL, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED SHE NEEDS TO HAVE A GOOD FUCKING EXPLANATION OR I'M DONE. DO II LOVE HER? YES, BUT THAT'S BY A FAULT OF MINE.... I THINK. PUT A FORK IN ME. I DID SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGH I'D DO.... DRIVE DRUNK. I GUESS I DO HAVE FLAWS IN Y LOGIC...

I ATE BREAKFAST

I went to breakfast with Dave. Now I'm full. Looks like I won't be going to the gym until later.

Headache

Now a headache is something I almost never get. I think in the past few years I've had two.... Well make it 3 now. When I tried going to bed the first time last night, I felt a pounding on the right side of my skull. Finally it went away after going to bed the second time.

On the plus side, the pounding is gone. Now I need to take care of some bills, clean, and do laundry today. Anyway, it's time for breakfast (yes me of all people eating breakfast).

Server Updates

I updated all the software on my server @ Keyway. This will probably be the last update until Dave gets "jail" running correctly and appoints me my own space on the "jail" server. Wow, no longer will I be running a OSX machine as my server; but it's not like I use it for much other than blogging & storage since I started using Blogger again & I have a pro Flickr account. Well, this may turn out to be my productivity week. I need a haircut BADLY.... I will be going to get one in the morning.

Kym went to the Chargers vs. Steelers game in San Diego. Well, she was right about it being a nailbiter. It was a good game to watch.

Monster Trucks

Monster Trucks
Originally uploaded by GildeMontes.

That's not a disco lifted Chevy SSR!

Kumi & Austin

Kumi & Austin
Originally uploaded by GildeMontes.

Here, Austin gets to see up close and personal a cow at the Southern California Fair in Perris, CA.

360

Testing to see if this Yahoo 360 integration is working...

Wishing

No matter how much you wish something is true, it will never make it the way you want.

No more drama for me.

Counselor

One of the counselors at our school has slipped into a coma. I hope that everything works out alright.

On a positive note, my uncle is doing well after his surgery that he had in his head. I wouldn't call it brain surgery because it had nothing to deal with his brain itself, just a strange mucosal buildup inside his head.

Weigh In

Today I had my second weigh in. I lost another 2.5 lbs. This puts me at a total of 5 and a half so far. This is after 8 beers last night, and a late night run to Jack in the Box..... My stomach seriously disliked that decision.

So, needless to say I'm making progress... I need to kick it up another notch to reach my goal though...

It's a good think I got my new running shoes. They kick ass!

Church Sign

makesign1.php
Originally uploaded by GildeMontes.

Too funny. Thanks to my buddy Chris Christie for the link to the Church Sign Generator.

Love is Not Enough - NIN

Oddly fitting this song was the first to play on my iPod at the gym:

The paler we get
I can't rememeber what it is
We tried to forget

The towel on the floor
So cold it can sting
In your eyes is a place
Worth remembering

Do you wake up and taste this
And smash it apart
I've gone all this fucking way
To wind up back at the start

Hey the closer we think we are
Well it only got us so far
Have you got anything left to show
No no I didn't think so

Hey the sooner we realize
We cover ourselves with lies
Well Underneath we're not so tough
Oh love is not enough

Well it hides in the dark
Like the weaker and vain
We didn't give it a mouth
So it cannot complain

We never really had a chance
We never really make it through
And to think I believed
I believed I could get better with you

Hey the closer we think we are
Well it only got us so far
Have you got anything left to show
No no I didn't think so

Hey the sooner we realize
We cover ourselves with lies
Well Underneath we're not so tough
Oh love is not enough

Friends...

I listen, I hear yet all shreds of hope and glimmers of possibility are tossed away.

Release

Taoists believe:
You can only become true to yourself if you have nothing else left.

From The Book of the Way:

The Master gives himself up
to whatever the moment brings.
He knows that he is going to die,
and he has nothing left to hold on to:
no illusions in his mind,
no resistances in his body.
He doesn't think about his actions;
they flow from the core of his being.
He holds nothing back from life;
therefore he is ready for death,
as a man is ready for sleep
after a good day's work.

Sounds like good sound philosophy to me. Reaching that point is a whole different obstacle.

MY FACE IS NAKED

10-03-05_1301
Originally uploaded by GildeMontes.

Yeah, I think I'm going to grow it back. Feels weird not seeing facial hair.

10-05-05_1742

10-05-05_1742
Originally uploaded by GildeMontes.

I just thought it was a hazy day or nowhere near as close as it was. There goes my trip to Cabazon. Stupid fire.

IMG_3767

IMG_3767
Originally uploaded by rion916.

Interesting shot of the fire near Moreno Valley I found on Flickr.

Women

Seriously I'll never understand them.

No More Fuzz

Clean shaven once again. The big question is how long until I grow it out.

NIN Concert

The NIN concert rocked! It was a good time. The only thing was driving and being the only one awake on the drive home. I'm not used to having more than 1 person in the car with me at a time. Jami put her pictures up on Myspace. If you are curious to see what she took, use my myspace to find "Jami Needs a Martini".